MAKING A GOOD CONFESSION
"Confession heals, confession justifies, confession grants pardon of sin. All hope consists in confession. In confession there is a chance for mercy. Believe it firmly. Do not doubt, do not hesitate, never despair of the mercy of God. Hope and have confidence in confession." -St. Isidore of Seville
Reconciliation is the sacrament that not only helps us realize our flaws, our humanness our imperfections but offers us an opportunity for healing and hope for ourselves and to make amends with others especially the ones whom we hurt the most.
Through this sacrament Jesus calls us to repentance, forgiveness, conversion and thereby a new life. Then, freed from our burdens, Jesus calls us to deliver his message of love and hope to the world.
Jesus knew well that many of us would lose the grace, the sharing-in-God's-own-life which came to us in Baptism. Since God's mercy is infinite and unconditional, it seems inevitable that he would provide a second chance for those who might relapse into sin.
However, Sacramental confession is no formality. It is an important cog in the wheel of our moral conversion and there are certain guidelines for a good confession.
The Five Steps Necessary for a Good Confession
1) An Examination of Conscience.
2) Contrition: Sorrow for one’s sins.
3) A Resolve to amend your life.
4) The Confession of one’s sins to a priest.
5) After Confession acceptance of one’s penance the priest assigns.
I. EXAMINATION OF CONSCIENCE
One must examine his conscience honestly and thoroughly and must not withhold confession of any mortal sins (CCC 1456).
Examination of one’s conscience involves us to search seriously into our lives becoming aware of our sins, the gravity of them and the number of times we have wronged either in thoughts, words or deeds or in something good that we should have done and which we failed to do and have hurt our Lord, and caused harm to others and ourselves.
There are several ways to make a good examination of conscience.
- A rather common one consists in reviewing our life in the light of the Ten Commandments and how often we have failed to keep them.
- Another way consists in reflecting on the basic Christian virtues of faith, hope, love of God and neighbor, patience, purity, honesty, etc. and see if we have practiced them or not.
In simple terms examination of one’s conscience is to place ourselves in the presence of Almighty God and ask ourselves, in total honesty, if He is pleased with us, and if not, why?.
For this inward scrutiny of oneself, we need to seek the help of the Holy Spirit to ask for true discernment to know and detest one’s sins and have sincere sorrow for them.
II. CONTRITION: BEING SINCERELY SORROW FOR YOUR SINS
The confessor must be contrite and repentant (CCC 1451).
After self-examination we pass to CONTRITION, the key to God’s mercy and pardon. It is the most essential condition for a worthy reception of the Sacrament of Confession.
Sin separates our soul from God, by loosening the ties of our friendship with God.
To get back into God’s favor, one must sincerely repent of his wrongdoing firmly resolving not to commit them again.
Without this sorrow or contrition, there can be no pardon for sin. How can we expect forgiveness from God if we are not sorry for our sins and are fully repentant? Sorrow of heart is necessary for the pardon of sins in Confession.
Perfect contrition immediately cleanses the soul from all guilt of sin and reconciles it to God, however, perfect contrition alone without the Sacrament of Confession is not sufficient before receiving Holy Communion. The person must first go to Sacramental Confession; otherwise, he commits a mortal sin of sacrilege.
III. RESOLVE TO AMEND ONES LIFE
However, if a person enters the Sacrament with the intention of committing the sin later, then this person is not sorry for his sins and the sin will not be forgiven. (CCC 1494).
The third requisite for a good Confession is a firm purpose of amendment, a resolution to avoid sin at all times.
In Matthew 18: 8 our Lord says “If your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire”.
The best proof of true sorrow is a change of life. When one immediately falls into the sins which he has just confessed, and without a struggle to resist it then there is reason to fear that he had no true sorrow. But if he guards himself and tries to avoid occasions of sin, and prays fervently for graces to keep from sinning, we can reasonably hope that his was true resolve to amend his life.
Relapses into Former Sins could be overcome through fervent prayer asking God his grace to help you overcome temptation to fall into sin. We can also pray to the Blessed Virgin Mary through her holy rosary for this intention.
God Himself tells us, “Without Me, you can do nothing.”(Refer to John 15:5). Placing our faith entirely on our Lord to help us out will be of immense value in our Resolve to amend our lives and overcome all temptations.
IV. CONFESSION OF ONE’S SINS
The disclosure or confession of sins to a priest is an essential element of this sacrament. In a profound sense it is also a "confession" - acknowledgment and praise - of the holiness of God and of his mercy toward sinful man. (CCC 1424)
Confession is one trial where the guilty always gets a pardon and fresh lease of life
It is the most precious means of sanctification; however if done merely as a formality would considerably diminish its effect and should be avoided at all costs.
Preparing for confession is very important to receive its fruits. Try to prepare oneself for confession with a prayer or the Rosary and dedicate it that God may give us the grace to make a good, humble, sincere and worthy Confession.
Having prepared oneself for Confession, we go with great humility and modesty, and remember that we are about to present our self before the priest who takes the place of Jesus Christ Himself. Kneeling down, consider that we are at the feet of Jesus crucified, who desires to hear from our own lips a sincere Confession of all our sins, and is ready to pardon them if we really repent, and be washed in His own blood.
Another important fact is that we need to be as specific as we can while confessing.
Using an analogy: It does a doctor no good when we tell him "I don’t feel good" unless we specify the problem, eg; If our stomach is upset, he needs to know what we ate; "When we open up and tell him, "this is how I am feeling" it allows him to treat us accordingly.
In the same way, it does us no good to tell a priest generally "I have sinned." We need to specify our sins to receive the grace of a meaningful confession.
I think many a time our confessions are too vague with words like “sometimes “ , “often” , “ I was a bad person” or I hurt my friend etc , You need to tell the priest what you're sorry for and whom you hurt. Yes, you might not remember all your sins, or the number of times you’ve committed them, but do the best you can and also do not worry about the time you take to confess. When this is a matter of your life, your eternal life, time can take a backseat!!
It is a sacrilege to make a bad Confession and to receive absolution after it without having the right dispositions is to violate the sacredness of it.
V. ACCEPTANCE OF PENANCE
This sacrament restores the person to God's friendship. This reconciliation with God "brings a serenity of conscience with strong spiritual consolation" and restores all the blessings of being God's child. (CCC 1468)
On leaving the confessional, believe in your heart that God has forgiven your sins. Perform your penance as soon as possible, and thank God for the great favor He has granted you.
Once absolution is given, one will walk out of that confessional with a feeling of satisfaction and being "clean again". We step out into a new dawn leaving all the past baggage behind and believe we are remade once again into God’s own image.
Prayer:
Eternal Father! I thank you for your goodness and mercy. You have had compassion on me, even though I have grievously offended and gone far away from you. You have forgiven me even after falling into sin time and again. You have renewed me through the holy sacrament of Penance. Blessed Father because of your loving-kindness and your infinite mercy, I will never grieve You by sinning again. All that I am, all that I have, all that I do , I offer to Your service , your Will and your Glory. Amen.
Sunith D'souza
HSI Media
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